Parents tend to have high expectations and are often critics of their child’s attempts at tasks, projects and school work.

The expectations are sometimes unrealistic and often motivated by anger, nagging, pressure, frustration and perfectionism.

Children are often pressured, prodded, hurried, critiqued and threatened. - External Motivation

Children feel like they can not do things right and do not want to attempt or put effort afraid to get criticized or pressured.

You may hear things like:

• I can’t.

• It is too hard.

• I don’t know how.

• I need help.

• I don’t feel good.

• I am too tired.

• It doesn’t matter

Refusal Behaviors may look like:

Whining, falling apart, crying, helplessness, running, hiding etc.

Sometimes - kids are compared to others, even siblings in attempts to motivate them. Name calling and sarcasm is often used.

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